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was a Good Day.
It took me a few hours to get going, but then i made the nescessary calls and visits and then went to Comedy Camp - it was the best night ever at Comedy Camp. Nina Conti used my lighter and it was good. I was happy. Its the little things. Lots of people read my TeeShirt (Anti Nazi League ine poem on back). It felt good. I like being a banner for The Good Fight. Plus, I made people laugh, and am feeling more confident about doing comedy. It is not a matter of thinking I am funny enough, but that I am confident enough to try, which is Big Deal.
I do wish sometimes I could show people shomehow how I was when i was younger, just how much these things mean to me, just how Good they are. I was completely destroyed, completely gone, dead. Now I am able to do these little things, it is a huge thing. You know how succesful slimmers are able to show then and now pictures (which I am able to do), Id like to do that for who i am. Look at me all alive!
Oh well.
I know this is a sillt thing to wish, as i do not want to be judged on my past, i hate to be, but at the same time, knowing me involves knowing a lot of gore. I guess I am hoping one day i will find someone who can cope with the gore aspect of me. I am happy to do what i can now, and be judged on who i am. Judge me by my actions, by the content of my soul, but to love me will take a lot more than that. Yes. Indeed it will (can anyone else see that I feeling a little lonely and unloved? Maybe, and now Im in the *it will take so much for someone to ever love me* place... silly and self centred.).
I have to do things today I am not looking forward to. But I will do them. No more running, no more hiding. *I can be strong like you*
Much love to everyone
Kim X
It took me a few hours to get going, but then i made the nescessary calls and visits and then went to Comedy Camp - it was the best night ever at Comedy Camp. Nina Conti used my lighter and it was good. I was happy. Its the little things. Lots of people read my TeeShirt (Anti Nazi League ine poem on back). It felt good. I like being a banner for The Good Fight. Plus, I made people laugh, and am feeling more confident about doing comedy. It is not a matter of thinking I am funny enough, but that I am confident enough to try, which is Big Deal.
I do wish sometimes I could show people shomehow how I was when i was younger, just how much these things mean to me, just how Good they are. I was completely destroyed, completely gone, dead. Now I am able to do these little things, it is a huge thing. You know how succesful slimmers are able to show then and now pictures (which I am able to do), Id like to do that for who i am. Look at me all alive!
Oh well.
I know this is a sillt thing to wish, as i do not want to be judged on my past, i hate to be, but at the same time, knowing me involves knowing a lot of gore. I guess I am hoping one day i will find someone who can cope with the gore aspect of me. I am happy to do what i can now, and be judged on who i am. Judge me by my actions, by the content of my soul, but to love me will take a lot more than that. Yes. Indeed it will (can anyone else see that I feeling a little lonely and unloved? Maybe, and now Im in the *it will take so much for someone to ever love me* place... silly and self centred.).
I have to do things today I am not looking forward to. But I will do them. No more running, no more hiding. *I can be strong like you*
Much love to everyone
Kim X
