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How have you all borne my absence?!?!
Jun. 4th, 2003 05:15 pmBeing of a literary persuasion such slackness really is rather poor on my part, and I am sorry.
Okay, now risen from my knees, I believe an update is indeed highly important.
My life has changed utterly. Oh yes ladies, life is GOOD.
Sorry, I probably should have warned you all to be sitting down before reading that, but hey, your down now right? That's okay then.
So, I haven't bothered reading what I wrote before (is that even a proper clause? hmm....) for I think that is best forgotten. I was very confussed before, lost in a swaying mist of possibility yet compounded by my own lack of sight. I loved my own blindness, touching nothing by the damp air and believing the water on my fingertips to be my own tears.
And other such bollocks.
Basically, I was manic depressive and feeling a little sorry for myself.
More good news, I have had the much over-due kick-up-the-backside. Now I am doing things rather than just moping all woe-is-me.
For those in the know, the change has been so radical that I now have a chronological filing system - that I use. Yes, it is true.
I am in love. Not just in love with the concept of a possible maybe love that I might oneday glance out of the corner of my eye when facing west under a golden moon, oh now, LOVE, L-O-V-E. A'ight!
*wink*
My muse is too busy dancing the dance of joy worm-style to provide me with the necessarily delicate phrases that could convey to you, my eager audience (yes, both of you), just how fantastic and wonderful and jubilant and amazing and astounding and gob-smackingly woo-hoo my Love is. For She is.
As requested, I shall here attempt to record in a public arena just a few of the fragments of what makes my love so very loveable.
* She cares about people. Her friends, her urban family, are treasured above and beyond any affection I have witnessed in anyone before. Her love is pure and deep, a mountain spring if you will, beautiful and natural and unshakeable.
*She is honest and forthright. She does not encourage nor support those weaknesses of character, which when unchallenged, corrode a person regardless of all the good they may attempt. She does not pity me. How refreshing! Someone who will tell me when I am being commanded by petit sensibilities, the petit sensibilities that mar my way to, a now possible an dhopeful, future. I have always claimed to cherish honesty, as I have always claimed to love love, yet when one is able to actually experience it, and feel the positive influence it has upon your life, your character, everyhting around you, it is as though I had forever walked in phluresant [sic] light, and now I have been taken to a beach at dawn. Wow.
* Her laugh, her smile, all those little everythings. Being able to feel her heart-beat as we fall asleep. Dreaming into her dreams. My heart beats at her whim, much stronger now, vigourous. A poor analogy perhaps, but it is as though her love were a pace-maker installed against my broken heart, mending it, making it beat with a force unknown before. I know I live now. It is an amazing gift to have recieved. I find myself crying a little sometimes just because I know there is nothing I can ever do for her that could possible compare. I am struck dumb by the sensation of love. Blinded. Indeed, I now know these are more than clichéd phrases.
*We knew. We knew. When I first saw her, I was breathless (literally having run all over London and up a flight of stairs). She was majestic, poised, gentle, sensual, delicate, - I can only liken how I felt during our meeting to how I feel when looking across the sea or ocean, knowing that I am only witnessing the surface, yet aware somehow of all the life within, all the beauty. I admired her, but found in myself nothing that could even believe a recipricationwas even concievable. Thinking I could be anything more than a passing aquiantance was rather like thinking I could become a mermaid [add puns at your own discretion]. Yet low and behold, one month and two days (by calendar calculations rather than weeks, by which it would be four weeks and four days, FYI) later, we are an US. Wow!
There are so many other things that need to be said, and i will say them, but not yet. I am afraid of writing too much and making the Internet sick. I do not want to cause a global meltdown by another love bug [oh dear, they really are bad]. [actually, who am I kidding, a global meltdown would be fun! - I think I've seen Fight Club too many times. *chuckle* - soap!]
My Love is the ocean. Within Her all life began, all beauty resides, transcending to soothe the air, flowing to nurture the earth, and quenching fires. Or something along those lines written with more poetic flare. Think of a lesbian Sonnet 18.
Well, I have to abandon my on-line record of life anew, to retuen only when fate permits.
*wink*
Love Kim XxX
Okay, now risen from my knees, I believe an update is indeed highly important.
My life has changed utterly. Oh yes ladies, life is GOOD.
Sorry, I probably should have warned you all to be sitting down before reading that, but hey, your down now right? That's okay then.
So, I haven't bothered reading what I wrote before (is that even a proper clause? hmm....) for I think that is best forgotten. I was very confussed before, lost in a swaying mist of possibility yet compounded by my own lack of sight. I loved my own blindness, touching nothing by the damp air and believing the water on my fingertips to be my own tears.
And other such bollocks.
Basically, I was manic depressive and feeling a little sorry for myself.
More good news, I have had the much over-due kick-up-the-backside. Now I am doing things rather than just moping all woe-is-me.
For those in the know, the change has been so radical that I now have a chronological filing system - that I use. Yes, it is true.
I am in love. Not just in love with the concept of a possible maybe love that I might oneday glance out of the corner of my eye when facing west under a golden moon, oh now, LOVE, L-O-V-E. A'ight!
*wink*
My muse is too busy dancing the dance of joy worm-style to provide me with the necessarily delicate phrases that could convey to you, my eager audience (yes, both of you), just how fantastic and wonderful and jubilant and amazing and astounding and gob-smackingly woo-hoo my Love is. For She is.
As requested, I shall here attempt to record in a public arena just a few of the fragments of what makes my love so very loveable.
* She cares about people. Her friends, her urban family, are treasured above and beyond any affection I have witnessed in anyone before. Her love is pure and deep, a mountain spring if you will, beautiful and natural and unshakeable.
*She is honest and forthright. She does not encourage nor support those weaknesses of character, which when unchallenged, corrode a person regardless of all the good they may attempt. She does not pity me. How refreshing! Someone who will tell me when I am being commanded by petit sensibilities, the petit sensibilities that mar my way to, a now possible an dhopeful, future. I have always claimed to cherish honesty, as I have always claimed to love love, yet when one is able to actually experience it, and feel the positive influence it has upon your life, your character, everyhting around you, it is as though I had forever walked in phluresant [sic] light, and now I have been taken to a beach at dawn. Wow.
* Her laugh, her smile, all those little everythings. Being able to feel her heart-beat as we fall asleep. Dreaming into her dreams. My heart beats at her whim, much stronger now, vigourous. A poor analogy perhaps, but it is as though her love were a pace-maker installed against my broken heart, mending it, making it beat with a force unknown before. I know I live now. It is an amazing gift to have recieved. I find myself crying a little sometimes just because I know there is nothing I can ever do for her that could possible compare. I am struck dumb by the sensation of love. Blinded. Indeed, I now know these are more than clichéd phrases.
*We knew. We knew. When I first saw her, I was breathless (literally having run all over London and up a flight of stairs). She was majestic, poised, gentle, sensual, delicate, - I can only liken how I felt during our meeting to how I feel when looking across the sea or ocean, knowing that I am only witnessing the surface, yet aware somehow of all the life within, all the beauty. I admired her, but found in myself nothing that could even believe a recipricationwas even concievable. Thinking I could be anything more than a passing aquiantance was rather like thinking I could become a mermaid [add puns at your own discretion]. Yet low and behold, one month and two days (by calendar calculations rather than weeks, by which it would be four weeks and four days, FYI) later, we are an US. Wow!
There are so many other things that need to be said, and i will say them, but not yet. I am afraid of writing too much and making the Internet sick. I do not want to cause a global meltdown by another love bug [oh dear, they really are bad]. [actually, who am I kidding, a global meltdown would be fun! - I think I've seen Fight Club too many times. *chuckle* - soap!]
My Love is the ocean. Within Her all life began, all beauty resides, transcending to soothe the air, flowing to nurture the earth, and quenching fires. Or something along those lines written with more poetic flare. Think of a lesbian Sonnet 18.
Well, I have to abandon my on-line record of life anew, to retuen only when fate permits.
*wink*
Love Kim XxX
